I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
