next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
