She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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