Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
