I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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