Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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