Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
