Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Randomize
