I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
