ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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