dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
