I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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