Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
