This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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