I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
