I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
