I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
