Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
