2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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