I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize