Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
