i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
