its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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