i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
