But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
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Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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