Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
