It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
