I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.