I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...