So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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