yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
