We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
