just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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