where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
