people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
