3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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