He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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