You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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