No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
