I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize