When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
