I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
