i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize