oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
