clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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