he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
