also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
