hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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