Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
