my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
