hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
