The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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