woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
