It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
