so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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