wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
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Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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