Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
