Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
