I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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