now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
